Cry Me a River

I'm back. I realize no one here even noticed I was gone. That's okay.

First, I apologize in advance for the length of this post, but you haven't had to read much else from me for the past few months, so bear with me, if you have the time or interest. Or not. I won't take it personally.

I was detoured by Covid. No, I didn't catch it. At least I haven't, yet, anyway. No, my course shut down back in March, just like so many others did around the country. So, like most of you, I couldn't play golf.

Initially, I continued to check in on these forums and contributed occasionally. But, as time went on and depression about the whole change in life as I knew it took over, nothing seemed to matter. Even golf. And this from a man who played or practiced at the course virtually every day. At the time we shut down in mid-March, I already had 58 rounds in for 2020...in the WINTER in the Northeast! If I wasn't actually out there playing, I was working the short game practice area or hanging out in the pro shop. Golf was my life.

After seven weeks of lock down and lots of projects accomplished around the house, there were signs the courses would be opening back up....of course, with major restrictions. So, I tried to get excited. It wasn't that easy. I knew things would be different than I was used to. But I dressed the day of reopening and went to my home course, where I am a member. The place was mobbed. That annoyed me. My course. The one I had practically all to myself all winter was now bursting at the seams with freed-from-lock down golfers....and a lot of hackers looking for something, anything, to participate in that was safe. I couldn't find a place on the tee sheet that first day it was so packed, so I went to the range and pounded balls to get out my frustration. Probably 200 of them. And that created a problem.

You see, when you reach 60 or so, you have to keep active if you want to continue to stay active. Prior to the shutdown, I was getting a lot of exercise, playing golf nearly everyday....for the last three or four years since I semi-retired. My body was used to it. I was in great shape. I had been swinging the club well all winter. My handicap was 4.8 when the last posting season ended and I was confident I could go even lower once the new season began. Not bad for an old man still playing from the blue tees. HOWEVER, things changed when I went to the range that first day back. I overdid it. You can do that at 30 and get away with it. Not so easy at my age, I clearly see now.

My muscles (the golf ones I took for granted) had also gone into semi-retirement, and I guess I didn't realize it. Hitting 200 balls was not smart. I was not aware of it at the time, but I tweaked a muscle in my left lat that day. I played my first 18 in almost two months the next day and it was extremely uncomfortable. The following day, I slipped off a 18" stool I was standing on and fell, landing on my side. Not badly. I scrapped up my leg, which was the only thing wrong. Or so I thought. It's a long story already, so I'll spare you all the details, but I guess I fractured a rib too. On the left side right near where my lat was already quite sore. I tried to play golf the next day and couldn't. I had a slight tear in my lat, right on top of the cracked rib. I was out for 8 more weeks. I had to go through a 3-day-a-week physical therapy regimen and the whole nine yards.

I felt my golf skills slipping away, psychologically, anyway. I gave up emotionally on golf. I felt the golf world passing me by. Woe is me. Cry me a river.

Before Covid, I was on the TT site pretty much everyday. I read everything here and posted a lot too. Once I lost my golf focus, I stopped checking in. I felt out of the loop. Even on another golf site where I am a moderator and one of the most frequent posters, I barely even opened my mouth. I was in a dark place.

Finally, I was cleared to play. Yet, I wasn't that excited. I figured I'd ease my way back in this time. That was about a month ago. I have played 21 rounds since. I have not broken into the 70s even once. I am NOT the player I was before my forced vacation from golf. I just wonder if I ever will be. But, my enthusiasm for the game is coming back. A couple scores in the 70s will probably bring me totally back into the game.

And, I now realize, I want to visit this TT site again frequently. So things are looking up. I also want to repeat my apology once more for the length of this post and thank any of you who may have made it all the way through.

To those who may have contacted the virus while I've been away, or know someone who went through a rough time, or worse, as a result of it, I am truly sorry to hear it and in no way think my experience of golf depression outlined above compares.

Just had to get that all out there. I feel better now. I will be checking in again more regularly and adding my 2 cents from time to time.